I like how visual your poem is with the messy blacking out – I think it really adds to the darkness of the poem. "Our Vanishing" by Joyce Peseroff reminds me of your poem because it also has fragmented parts to it and is also somewhat bleak. http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/250008
I like how you keep talking about trains throughout the poem to tie it together; it's interesting, and it makes me want to read more. The train idea as well as the shocking parts of your poem remind me of "8 words" by Selena Jance.
I like how visual your poem is with the messy blacking out – I think it really adds to the darkness of the poem. "Our Vanishing" by Joyce Peseroff reminds me of your poem because it also has fragmented parts to it and is also somewhat bleak.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/250008
I like how you keep talking about trains throughout the poem to tie it together; it's interesting, and it makes me want to read more. The train idea as well as the shocking parts of your poem remind me of "8 words" by Selena Jance.
ReplyDeletehttp://hellopoetry.com/poem/1020214/8-words/