Five Reasons Buzzfeed Will Elevate You to a Godlike State of Mind

To improve my writing, I’ve been reading a lot of Buzzfeed lately--and, I have to say, wtf. The insight I’ve received in the 467 articles, 1,628 quizzes, and 11,401 rehashed Tumblr posts I’ve seen on the site has been incomparable. I can honestly say that I’ll never be the same again.

To honor my mentors at the Big Buzz, here’s the only gift I can give: five tips on how to improve your own writing, presented in the style of the masters.

1. Put clickbait in your titles. And by “clickbait,” I mean anything pertinent to your topic that will make readers want to look at it. When completing a project on bear hibernation patterns, for instance, try to stray away from calling it “Bears Hibernate in the Winter.” Instead, name it something that will make potential readers go “Wait, what?” They’ll be obligated to read your entire piece to find the answer. Build intrigue; make them want more.
   
   
   
   
   
2. Treat transitions like comedy. In David Sedaris's "I Almost Saw This Girl Get Killed" there’s a scene where Sedaris describes a book he had in his childhood about arts and crafts--and then he uses it to talk about wrestling angry bulls (I'm not kidding). For more formal works, transitions mean having clear points of connection between all sub-theses of your main argument; for informal assignments, it means finding small details to unify one part of your story to the next. Everything in the world is somehow connected; the best writers are able to find and demonstrate these links in an effective and engaging way. To try to spot these connections, here's another Sedaris piece:
   
   
   
   
3. Stop turning verbs into nouns. This is called “nominalization,” and it’s guaranteed to annoy any English teachers and/or Buzzfeed contributors who read your work. Sentences like “I was surprised at his acceptance of the prize” aren’t just verbose; they’re completely unnecessary. “I was surprised he accepted the prize” expresses the same idea in fewer words.
   
   
   
   
4. Save vagueblogging for your disenfranchised 2 a.m. Twitter posts when you think no one else is awake. In writing, it’s best to be as specific as possible, especially when arguing a thesis. Think of this in terms of stories. When your little brother stumbles into the house on Halloween and says someone stole his candy, he doesn’t just say, “Hey, look, someone stole my candy.” Instead, he’ll go into where he was, how he felt, what the thief looked like, how fast he ran home. Any narrative--whether it’s a formal academic essay or a personal experience--depends on specific and targeted details to support the main point.
   
   
   
5. As my mom always used to say when I’d ask her if I could leave our family parties early: “Watch your tone, Kristen!” Since 99% of the world isn’t named Kristen, you can ignore that last part. But tone--the attitude and personality of the writer as it’s portrayed throughout the piece--can have a huge impact over whether or not someone is willing to accept your argument. As a rule of thumb, it’s best not to be overly aggressive in academics. You can think someone’s an asshat. Just don’t write that.

   
   

   
   

   
   

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