Concision: No Decision

People are impatient. When writing, it is important to get the main idea across clearly with the least amount of words possible, as to not lose the attention of the reader.  A common misconception is that larger words with an abstract structure make writing sound more intelligent; however, that is completely incorrect.  By changing a word’s part of speech, it changes the form and usage of the surrounding words as well.  This change can lead to a convoluted sentence structure with the main parts--like the subject and the verb--difficult to find.  There are many ways to write in a clean, concise fashion, but two key elements to pay attention to are verb tense and word choice.

It is best to keep all the verbs as they are.  Creating zombie nouns will make it very difficult to understand who is doing what in the sentence, as the subject and the object are now switched. Zombie nouns are the product of nominalization, which is the transformation of some part of speech into a noun.  These words lend themselves to changing a sentence from the active voice to the passive voice.  The passive voice can be difficult to understand simply because the “who” in the sentence is disguised.  In Lexi Takashima’s piece “Social Constructs In Charge,” she used the passive voice when she wrote “The notion of the white race being superior to all others was self-proclaimed and required some type of justification.” It is now unclear who made the proclamation that the white race is superior, because “the notion” that was once the object is now the subject.  It would have been more effective to write, “Society itself has accepted the notion of superiority of the white race, and therefore it required some type of justification.” The sentence is now, shorter, in the active voice, and contains a clear subject, object, and verb.  

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Diction plays a huge role in creating fluid writing.  Redundancy can drag out sentences and alter its tone, which is why knowing the meaning and connotation of the applied word is essential.  Writers often use words to modify other words that have a similar meaning because he/she believes that more descriptive words means better writing: wrong.  Good writing is short and to the point with an easy-to-follow plot.  It is not writing that uses the greatest number of words with zombie nouns and adverbs all with the same meaning. In addition, it is important to find the point of the sentence that is being stressed the most, and then make sure that other words and phrases are not taking away from that point. In “Illusions Around the Choate Bubble,” Takashima wrote, “therefore, Choate has carefully manufactured its illusions and uses them as a disguise rather than as a blindfold.” The modification of “manufactured” is unnecessary in context because the main point in the sentence is not how Choate manufactured the illusions, but the mere fact that it did it at all.  The tone changes to stress the event itself when rewritten as “therefore, Choate has manufactured its illusions with the sole purpose of using them as a disguise rather than a blindfold.”  The modification is now expressing the importance of why Choate did something rather than the how, which was her intention.  

Readers are human, and they are no exception to the inherent gene of impatience.  Concision will allow a writer to connect with his/her audience throughout the entire piece.  By following only a few steps, one can transform their writing into an engaging work of art in no time.

For a more detailed description of nominalization and its downfalls, listen here.