Happiness: Doing It Wrong, and Doing It Right

Each of Amatenstein’s patients imagine happiness as something that’s able to be obtained and maintained like a well nurtured plant. In truth, it’s something that comes in short and quick doses. In other words, it’s a feeling, not a lifestyle. Though she addresses this issue, she fails to recognize that the personalities of her patients are merely symptoms of a disease that encompasses the whole of society today. Humans are unique creatures, not only in our ability to reason and live beyond our instincts for survival, but also, in the sense that we are aware of ourselves. Some would say, from an evolutionary standpoint, this “self consciousness” is one step forward, and two back. Indeed, it has lead us to where we are today, but with what consequence?

Well, Amatenstein unknowingly circumnavigates one of them: our perception of time. In essence, Amatenstein addressed every neighbouring archetype for the common citizen seeking happiness, except the most prominent and circumferential of these paradigms: those who fail to live in the present. What her patients don’t realize is that happiness, as well as any other emotion, is immediate, fleeting, and finite. Today, when we are surrounded by media, television, books, short stories, games, and movies, it’s easy to imagine that life is a matter of plot. The introduction, the conflict, climax, and resolve all inevitable and integral to our existence as members of a collective focused on the ideal way of living. Indeed today many sociologists and psychiatrists would agree that many of us do, at least sub consciously, narrate our lives, as if we played the protagonist in an epic fantasy. In fact, it’s considered a healthy attitude and approach towards life, for the sense of validation it brings to one’s “story”.

 The issue within this idea lies in the fact that the past and future are merely illusions we use to organize and arrange the events that make up our lives, and that though you might reminisce with joy at times, you can’t simply just be happy with who you are as a result of your life. Despite our advanced modes of living, in truth, we remain confined to more basic triggers in regards to our emotions. Happiness, more often than not is a matter of what you are experiencing in the now, be it physical pleasure, mental engagement, or the brief but intense feeling of accomplishing something great. Sure, there are extended periods of time in which one might be happy, such as in a relationship, or in the pursuit of a goal that encompasses the meaning of one’s life, absolutely. But regardless, it’s not permanent. There is an end to everything, including relationships that define love, and epic quests that reach beyond our feeble day to day lives.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you make of life. Not what you have, who you are, what your story is, or the minor inconveniences that no one on Earth is immune to. Your disposition in approaching the challenges that face you. How often you notice the little things. The pride you take in your work, family, and relationships. What you taste, hear, smell, feel, and see. It’s in the present, and it’s something to seek, not obtain. As Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Vietnamese monk once said, “Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes.”

http://www.vox.com/2015/6/2/8686191/happiness-myths - Link to Sherry Amatenstein's article, "Everyone wants to be happy. Almost everyone is going about it wrong."