James and the Giant TA

In Celeste Ng’s novel Everything I Never Told You, she describes how a Chinese - American family responds after discovering that their middle daughter, Lydia Lee, was tragically drowned in a lake. The news devastates the Lees and each member of the family finds reconciliation in their own way. Hannah, the youngest daughter visits the lake Lydia drowned in, Nath, the older brother, does some detective work to try to uncover the cause of her death, Marilyn spends hours upon hours in wandering around Lydia’s room, and James sleeps with his teaching assistant Louisa. Throughout this emotional story, Ng creates multiple recipes in her writing; Marilyn runs off for three months to receive her medical degree, Lydia’s death ruining her parents relationship, and Marilyn’s ignorant response to Lydia’s death are the three main ingredients that Ng mixes together to form a recipe that causes James to sleep with Louisa.

When Marilyn left James and the family for three months without warning, it proved to James their relationship was bound to fail, and provoked him to sleep with Louisa. After Marilyn’s mother died she needed to cope; however, since her mother disapproved of her marriage with a Chinese American man, talking to James was not an option. At this moment in the novel, Marilyn realizes that she is “not happy with the life [she] leads,” (86) and “is sad… about everything” (100). She dramatically decides to try to receive her medical degree, and without warning, she leaves her family for a whole summer. Marilyn’s act of total abandonment proved to James that their initial love for each other was gone, which is the first step of the recipe that changed their relationship forever, and caused James to sleep with Louisa.

Lydia’s death is another ingredient tossed into the novel that causes James and Marilyn's relationship to further fall apart. After the police visit the Lees to interview Nath - who, like Lydia, is also very lonely - Hannah witnesses her parents fight, and she “has never heard her parents fight before” (115). The death of their daughter creates conflict which they cannot resolve, and when James “leans in to kiss her, she flinches away as if his touch burned,” demonstrating that their initial love for each other,

which was filled with passion, has faded away (109). Their relationship continues to crack when Marilyn disrespects James James develops feelings for Louisa, his teaching assistant.

Marilyn’s reaction to Lydia’s death catalyzes James to sleep with Louisa. Marilyn enters a perpetual state of denial when a police officer tells her that they think Lydia committed suicide. She refuses to believe this and claims that “[her] Lydia would never have gone out in that boat alone” (117). She “berates the police with questions ” as she becomes “hysterical” (115). Her indignation and uncompromising attitude leads to a fight with James, which causes him to storm out. James hears the “palpable disgust in her voice,” which leads James to realize “how little she [thinks] of him” (116). His outlet to relieve his stress is Louisa who “gently, generously, miraculously opens her arms to him” (118). With her, James’ mind has “gone blissfully blank” and he “sleeps soundly for the first time in days,” (72) which is something that Marilyn cannot provide anymore.

Furthermore, Marilyn’s disrespect and ignorance is the final ingredient that leads James to sleep with Louisa. Marilyn suggests that James kowtows - to kneel and touch the ground with the forehead in worship or submission as a Chinese custom - to the police, which James perceives as a racial slur.

James knows that in her “ blur of fury” she didn’t “think twice about what she’s said” and didn’t understand that word’s effect on him (117). Three of the most important aspects of a relationship are love, communication and balance. If Marilyn can not understand how she affected James, then they have lost two out of the main three pillars of their relationship.

These three ingredients create a recipe for disaster, and break down James and Marilyn’s fragile relationship. Marilyn’s abandonment of James three years before Lydia’s death helped James rationalize sleeping with Louisa. He used Louisa to relieve himself from his sorrows. The death of a daughter broke down the parents’ marriage, which leads to the collapse of the entire family system.